Childhood Fairy Tales and the Reality of Secondary Infertility

January 15th, 2014
Donor Egg Family

When I was a little girl, I would play “house” and talk about having children, getting married, and forming a family. From a young age, there is the perfect picture in your mind that you dream about. As you get older, you realize life doesn’t always go as planned, and that things aren’t as simple as playing with dolls.

As human beings, we have an urge to be successful in life. We go off to college, graduate school, and build careers as successful professionals. Along the way, we find our prince or princess and decide to start a family. 

Sounds like a perfect plan, doesn’t it? But the truth is that not all fairy tale endings are happy. 

For those starting a family, some have it easier than others. Maybe the first time around wasn’t so hard, you have your first baby and things couldn’t be better. This little bundle of joy changed your life! You decide to wait a few years because your hands are full - one baby is enough for now. Right? Soon enough a few years have passed, and this little person has now learned to talk, and they ask for a baby sibling. 

This was my plan when I became a mother for the first time. Parenthood was still too new for me, and I was not ready to start over with diapers. I wanted to wait. But every year, a little voice would remind me that he wanted a baby brother for Christmas. How do you explain to your child that having a baby is not that simple? It isn’t as easy as going to the mall and picking up a popular toy. 

My husband and I decided to start working on my son’s Christmas present, but conceiving was not as easy as the first time. A year went by and I started to question myself. What is wrong with me? Why aren’t I pregnant already? What changed? Could it be my husband or is it me? 

What I didn’t know is that my situation had a name. It’s called secondary infertility.

Secondary infertility is the inability to naturally conceive a biological child or to carry a pregnancy to full term after having already given birth in a natural pregnancy. 

We know that for many of these couples, the female’s eggs have grown older over the years since her first pregnancy. We also know that if a woman’s eggs are no longer viable, donor egg may be the answer to having another child. 

At Donor Egg Bank USA, we hear different testimonials of how hard it has been going through the emotional roller coaster of secondary infertility. There are no words that will change the past or make the disappointment of being unable to have a genetic child better. Too many women wait too long between baby one and two not realizing how quickly their fertility declines after age 34. Perhaps using a donor egg was not in your childhood fairy tale, but there is a chance that donor egg will be that “fairy” which grants the dream you’ve always wanted. 

While it seems that many doors may have been closed to you in the past, there is always hope. Donor Egg Bank USA believes in your dream and we will hold your hand as you travel down your path. Our goal for you is the same as yours -- a happy healthy baby to be a sibling to your older child.

About The Author

Margarita Lainez

Margarita Lainez is a Recipient Liaison at Donor Egg Bank USA. She is a mother of two boys and experienced infertility when trying to conceive her second child. She has made it her goal to help others who are struggling in the journey to parenthood. She strongly believes that everyone has the right to experience the blessing of being a parent.

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