Accepting Your Baby from Donor Egg: Four (4) Things to Remember

July 12th, 2018
Woman Holding Baby

After battling with infertility for years, you finally find success! Your pregnancy test came back positive, and the thought of holding your precious child in your arms seems that much closer to becoming a reality.

"I’ve waited for my baby for so long, but will I accept that he/she will be born from a donor egg?  Will it be obvious that my baby isn’t genetically linked to me?"

These are common concerns for so many women who have used donor egg IVF treatment. Here are four (4) important things to remember when faced with these types of questions.

1.  Your love started it all.

Before the morning sickness, growing baby bump and sonogram pictures, you chose to bring a beautiful baby into this world. The many long years of IVF attempts did not stop you from dreaming and persevering toward your goal of being a parent. The gift of a donor’s egg helped to make your dream a reality, and now you have the chance to share your love with your beautiful baby.

“Our fourth attempt happened in March 2015. We had not given up, but hope was hard to hold onto at that point. We were numb. The process became so routine that it did not really faze either of us. But on May 7, 2015, we received the news that we waited for over 7 years to hear.” - Anonymous, Our Journey to Evelina Jean

2.  You do have an influence on your baby’s genetics.

You may feel an emotional twinge because you don’t have the opportunity to have children genetically related to you. However, whether you chose an anonymous donor or someone you know, you have control over the baby’s genetics. If the donor is someone you know, you will already be familiar with her family history, personality, and genetic traits. If you chose a donor from a clinic database, you’ll have access to her health and family history, educational background, child and adult photos, and so much more! Both options should give you peace of mind that your donor choice will play a big part in determining who your baby becomes.

“And with Donor #7, whom I felt a strong connection with.... I FINALLY became pregnant. When I answered my RE's phone call with pregnancy test results, I was so conditioned to hear bad news that I was incredulous at the good news. I honestly didn't believe the nurse coordinator! I sort of contested the news by saying I didn't feel pregnant, and was she sure? But 8.5 months later, our perfect, healthy, gorgeous, smiley little baby girl was born.” - Anonymous, So Lucky on Number 7

3.  You bring your baby into this world.

When it comes to donor egg IVF, you’re getting one cell. Yes, it’s a very important cell, but ultimately, it is your body that will make that baby.  You are every bit the biological mother. And for those using a gestational carrier (GC), you can celebrate your opportunity to choose who will aid you on your journey to parenthood!

“I wish I hadn't been so resistant to the concept at first, because this little boy was meant to be ours. The minute he was born, all doubt and question fell away. He makes my world, and I am so incredibly thankful for the journey that brought him to us.” - Anonymous, Me Consider an Egg Donor? No Way!

4.  It takes a long time to raise a child and a short time to carry them.

Think about it this way – it’s nine months versus eighteen years and beyond!  While the pregnancy process is exciting in itself, you can look forward to making a mountain of memories with your new bundle of joy.  Your child will learn to talk like you and walk just like you. Every day, you will see your impact and you should feel excited to start this new journey with them!

“I tell my story for many reasons, but mostly for the fact that I gave birth to our healthy twins at 48 years old and my husband was 41. If we can do it, you can do it. Have faith and know that it is definitely possible.” - Anonymous, Have Faith!

From the hundreds of women and couples who have found success here at California Cryobank’s Donor Egg Bank, there have been no regrets when it comes to using donor egg to have a baby. The moment you gaze into your child’s eyes for the first time, all fears and doubts should start to fade away. You did it, you deserve this, and your new adventure of parenthood is about to begin!

                                            Is your perfect egg donor match in our database?

                                                        Find her profile (with pictures) today!

About The Author

Jonelle K. Agurs serves as the Marketing and Assured Refund Assistant for Donor Egg Bank, a California Cryobank Company.  Graduating with a degree in public health, she has a passion for learning about methods for healthier living, and sharing tips to help promote quality of life.

Comments

I don't know who my donor egg woman is but I can't thank her enough for the precious gift I am carrying. I will always be grateful to her, this is my baby. However, I have to give her credit for sharing something so magical with me and my husband. Thank you to whoever you are and wherever you are. Gods grace and mercy be with you and your family

Submitted by Shannon 1 year, 5 months ago

This has been the BEST decision we have ever made!!! After 2 failed attempts with donor eggs, we changed donors and now are currently 6 weeks 3 days pregnant for the first time ever. I have been told I had “ underwear I ed infertility” and would never have children. WELL, that simply was not true! We are so excited to bring our bundle, boy or girl, into our lives and cannot wait for the arrival. There is ALWAYS HOPE WITH FAITH!

Submitted by Josh and Amy Wilson 1 year, 5 months ago

I wish we could afford to do this. I want a baby so bad. Congratulations to everyone having or have had the baby. Blessings

Submitted by Karen 1 year, 5 months ago

Karen, there are shared programs available where the intended parent pays for your own services. Never say never!

Submitted by Monica 1 year, 5 months ago

I having being able to afford my dream came true and it makes me sad but very happy for the couples that are able to experience the unique experience and wish many good things and blessings for all of you.

Submitted by Martha 1 year, 5 months ago

Am pregnant with second donor egg baby (same donor). After almost 12 years of infertility and ivf treatments. Second donor attempt and pregnant. Same donor... and now a second pregnancy... at 47 (sibling project)! Am delighted ... our hearts are full! I have one wonderful mischievous silly brilliant daughter and her baby sister on the way in just weeks. I just wish we had done this sooner. These are our children... no others would ever do now. I can't thank our donor enough. Our families have embraced our children and there has not been even the smallest hiccup. Best of luck to all those making this journey. It has been a fantastic one for us.

Submitted by AK 1 year, 5 months ago

After many IUIs, a miscarriage and a failed IVF with my own eggs, I used donor eggs and donor sperm and now my wife and I have 3 Beautiful children a baby girl due in October 2018. I will be 48 yrs old when I have my 3rd child, we had access to pics of the donors from a baby to an adult, medical history, interests, hobbies, athletics. Our children our or world we wouldn’t change a thing about the process of having them. I carried them and they are 100% ours. My son looks like me and my daughter like my wife. Genetics can be a wonderful process picking the right donor for you. Even if they didn’t look like us we would have the same love of being parents to 3 Beautiful children. Family and loved ones know our journey to having children and are 100% positive towards us and our journey to having children, we also donated a couple of Embryos to a family member that couldn’t conceive with her husband. The gift of being able to donate a frozen embryo is the best gift you could ever give a family who wants a child. Many blessing to everyone in your journey!

Submitted by JLN 1 year, 5 months ago

Hi my name is Rachel... My husband and I live in The Netherlands en because I dont have any female reproductive organs (since at a age of 13), I was wondering if it is possible to choose an egg donor. That egg donor, along side my husbands sperm then has to be implanted in a surrogat via IVF. In The Netherlands the laws regarding surrogacy is not as it is in the US. So I was wondering if I would be doing a good thing by contacting Cryobank California in finding an egg donor. Hope to have soms comments and reading you experiences…… Greetings from Rachel..

Submitted by Rachel 1 year, 2 months ago

Hello Rachel,

I live in the Netherlands too and have gone through this process in the US.

I will be very happy to share my / our experience with you. We have 5 month old baby girl.

Nina

Submitted by nina 1 year, 1 month ago

After 4 years of research to figure out why I couldn't get pregnant (due to my genetic makeup of Turner's Mosiac chromosomes), and after witnessing friends and relatives of ours endure the up's and downs of IVF, we've decided to give one 'Lot' of eggs a chance.

After carefully selecting out donor by going through the entire data base, we made our selection and purchased a lot of six eggs. I completed a C-section surgery just 5 days ago to rid my uterus of six fibroids to optimize the uteran wall in preparation for our first transplant of one of our eggs, ensemenated with my husband's sperm.

Wish us luck that we have at least one baby with this lot of eggs! We hope to have two children, but this will be our roll of the dice. What is meant to be will be and we will feel confident that we've exhausted all options with this. It's been a crazy journey already.

xx

Submitted by Sunshine 9 months, 2 weeks ago

Congratulations to all the new Mommy's and Daddy's!
I am 45. My husband is 47.
We feel as though we have waited too long. We have tried naturally over and over again. So now we are at a loss and feeling saddened.
We sure hope God has room for one more.
Many blessings to all.

Submitted by Kristie 1 month, 4 weeks ago

Hi Kristie, I read your post and deeply touched.
Please you and your husband should keep faith alive and don't loose hope. I and my wife we're married for fifteen years and was faced with infertility and lack of conceiving a child. It was indeed years of pain for us. I and my wife were 45 years old. We tried all we could to conceive all these years without success including failed IVF procedure but in April this year by the the grace of God my wife gave birth to a set of lovely beautiful twins.
Please continue with your medical procedure and as you pray, God will grant the desires of your heart and bless your home with babies.

Submitted by Jacey 1 month, 2 weeks ago

I actually wanted to have a baby that doesn't carry any of my family traits. For a good reason. No, it was not the genetical decease. I did select the donor egg and donor sperm that were the same ancestry as me and my husband. A study, I read about, revealed that children can distinguish between British and German persons on the photo, marking their kind as more likable (!). But it was not just about the "tribe". I felt true connection to the families of both donors. The baby I have ... I love that baby more than I ever loved my genetical child. But I am shocked by the fact that this child, that has no genetical links to me, has so many features of my own family, starting from the shape of the fingers and ending with handiness, personality, and so many more traits... It is truly not what I wanted. Sometimes I refused to believe that this is NOT my genetical baby! I know, many of you will find it strange. Because many of egg/sperm donors WANT their child to be like them! I guess - it is an epigenetic thing. Whatever. I just want you ( the person who have a "not genetically yours" child), to know one thing: it is not as simple as you think. The human population of the Earth has 0.3-0.4% genetical variability. All of the races you can imagine are withing that percentage. The one thing that makes it different -the genes expression and mother's womb development. Meaning: you will get the baby that is very much like you! Even if it is the donor egg. I still have no idea why I love this child more than I ever loved my genetical one...

Submitted by Julia 6 days, 6 hours ago

Share Your Thoughts