Pride, Parenthood and Possibility: A Guide for Gay Dads Using Frozen Donor Egg

At Donor Egg Bank USA, we believe that love makes a family, and that every kind of family deserves to grow with dignity, support, and care. Since our founding in 2012, we’ve proudly helped thousands of LGBTQ+ individuals and couples become parents using frozen donor egg.

As we celebrate Pride Month 2025, we’re honoring the beautiful diversity of modern families and offering updated, compassionate guidance, specifically for gay male couples who are planning to grow their families through donor egg IVF.

Whether you're just beginning to explore your options or are ready to take the next step, this guide is for you.

Love Starts the Story — Science Supports the Rest

For gay men building their families through IVF, the journey typically includes a few essential elements: a donor egg, a gestational carrier, and sperm. While the logistics can be complex, our goal is to help make this path feel clearer, achievable, and affirming.

Why Frozen Donor Egg?

Choosing frozen donor egg has many benefits for two dads building families through IVF:

• Convenience: No need to coordinate cycles with a donor. The eggs are ready when you are.
• Diversity and Availability: Our expansive portfolio offers a broad and diverse group of fully screened donors.
• Control: You’ll know how many eggs are available before you begin, and our blastocyst guarantee* provides that you'll have an embryo available for transfer, biopsy or cryopreservation or we'll provide a replacement egg lot at no charge. 

Legal Clarity:  Our donors have completed all necessary legal documentation that establishes the parameters of the donation process, further adding to your peace of mind.

Deciding Whose DNA to Use

For some couples, an important question arises: Whose sperm should we use to fertilize the donor eggs?

Here are some of the most common ways gay couples approach the decision, in collaboration with their fertility care providers:

Split the Egg Lot

If both partners are interested in sharing a biological connection to the family you’re building, the Double Egg Lot Plan is a fantastic option. This plan provides 10–16 mature eggs in two separate lots, allowing each partner to fertilize one lot. Later, the embryo with the highest potential for success can be chosen for transfer, regardless of who provided the sperm. Any remaining viable embryos can be cryopreserved for future use.

Choose One Partner to Contribute

Some couples may decide that one partner will provide the sperm for all eggs. This decision could be based on personal preference, genetic compatibility with the egg donor, or other meaningful considerations.

Let Science Guide the Way

Fertility testing or genetic screening may reveal that one partner is better suited to provide the sperm. For example, one may have higher quality sperm or not be a carrier for a specific genetic condition the donor is also a carrier for. (A reminder: Donor Egg Bank USA is always available to answer questions about genetic compatibility and donor medical history.)

Using Donor Sperm

In some cases, neither partner can contribute viable sperm. In these situations, donor sperm may be used to fertilize the eggs. Our partners at California Cryobank offer a wide selection of fully screened and qualified sperm donors, with a longstanding commitment to serving LGBTQ+ families.

Finding a Gestational Carrier

Choosing a gestational carrier — someone who will carry and deliver your baby — is one of the most important parts of the process. Many intended parents find their carrier through specialized agencies that offer support, screening, and matching services. You’ll also want to consult a reproductive attorney to draft a legal agreement outlining expectations and responsibilities.

Insurance Considerations and Financial Support for Your Journey

We understand that fertility treatment is an investment, and we’re here to make it more accessible.

Insurance coverage for LGBTQ+ people is improving. And thankfully, more employers are offering fertility benefits to LGBTQ+ employees. Be sure to explore your company’s fertility benefits program or check out the incredible support offered by fertility benefit partners like Progyny, Carrot, and Stork Club, all of which help to cover some or all of Donor Egg Bank USA’s plans.

•  Progyny — Available with our Single Egg Lot Plan.
• Carrot — Covers all our plans: Single Egg Lot Plan, Double Egg Lot Plan, Single Cycle Plan, Multi Egg Lot Refund Plan, and Assured Refund Plan^®
• Stork Club — Applies to every plan: Single Egg Lot Plan, Double Egg Lot Plan, Single Cycle Plan, Multi Egg Lot Refund Plan, and Assured Refund Plan^®.

We’ve also partnered with several financing providers who are dedicated to supporting hopeful parents, like CapexMD (USA), Medicard (Canada), Future Family, and ARC Fertility.

And don’t forget to check out our Assured Refund Plan^®, which guarantees you’ll either have a live birth or receive a 100% refund. 

Final Thoughts: DNA Is Just the Beginning

Only one of you may share DNA with your future child, but both of you will be parents in every way that matters. You’ll share sleepless nights, first steps, bedtime snuggles, and a love that knows no bounds. DNA may spark the story, but you will write the chapters that follow.

So, this Pride Month, we celebrate you, your courage, your love, and your dream to build a family.

Whether you’re ready to start your donor search or simply gathering information, we’re here to support you every step of the way.

*See Intended Parent Agreement for further details.

Ready to learn more about using frozen donor egg to help grow your family? Just reach out to our qualified team at Donor Egg Bank USA to find out more, including information about our Assured Refund Plan option. Or, if you’re ready to get matched to your ideal donor, start your search here.