Are All Our Eggs Still in One Basket?

June 1st, 2016
Gay Couple

My maternal grandmother had 13 children. I had 27 aunts and uncles on that side of the family (do the math). One of my aunts married a fellow, but they never could sort it out, so they divorced. Still, we kept the extra uncle in the family anyway, because we liked him.

In the 1960s, that aunt met up with her true love, and they've been living together ever since. Back then, they almost certainly would have been ostracized in the community for being two women in love, even though they would have made great parents. Nowadays it would not be as much of an issue in many communities, but unfortunately it is a little late for my aunts. They settled for making each other happy, even without children. But you don't have to settle…

The Modern World

All across the country people are beginning to recognize that family-building is an important aspect in everyday life, regardless of one’s sexual orientation. Having children provides stability, love, fulfillment, and most importantly for many, legacy.

Donor Egg Bank USA welcomes the LGBT community. Now, virtually any couple can become a parent through IVF and/or surrogacy. Cutting-edge methods such as utilizing frozen donor eggs can mean no waiting time and no need for synchronization of cycles, and for about half the cost of traditional (fresh) donor IVF cycles. Frozen donor egg also offers a greater variety of available donors, since you would not have to factor in transportation costs for a fresh donor or limit your selection to donors within your immediate area.

Gay (Male) Couples

A same-sex couple seeking to have children can select an egg donor based on whatever characteristics that matter most to them. The intended parent(s) can choose their ideal donor based on ethnicity, academic pursuits, physical characteristics, or even personality traits.

Selecting your gestational carrier (GC) is important too. She must be a healthy weight (body mass index under 35), a non-nicotine- and non-recreational-drug user, and free of infections that could endanger her little passenger. If she doesn't have sufficient health insurance, you will need to provide coverage for her for the term of the pregnancy. Also by using donor egg, you won’t have to worry about finding someone who is willing to both donate and carry the child (surrogacy), which opens doors for more options to building the family of your dreams.

Even more importantly, you should decide ahead of time what sort of relationship you will maintain with the woman who will be carrying your child. Do you want to see or chat with each other every day? Would you like to visit a couple of times per week? Would it bother you if she lived on the other side of the city, or in another town and you met only rarely? These are the sort of questions you must consider in advance.

Lesbians Need Eggs, Too

Someone suffering from premature ovarian failure may still be able to carry a pregnancy. In that case, an egg donor is a great solution. Some couples may even choose to have one partner be the egg donor, while the other partner carries the child. What a wonderful solution—it gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "contributing partner"!

Surrogacy and Legal Concerns

You can't avoid discussing the legal aspects of surrogacy if you're using a GC. Absolutely nothing begins until all parties have signed a contract giving the courts a point of reference in the event of a dispute if, for example, the couple separates before the baby is born.

It is a very good idea to consult with a lawyer well-versed in surrogacy if you are considering moving down this path. S/he can advise you on how the law differs between jurisdictions, depending on where the intended parents live and where the surrogate lives.

The Takeaway

Now that our society’s views have changed, and the stigma of single or gay parents has lessened, there is nothing standing in the way of reasoned and thoughtful consideration of building a family. And the way our lives operate have made it even easier to think about.

It's time to start taking advantage of the better world we live in! Here at Donor Egg Bank USA, we believe people of all backgrounds should have the opportunity to have children. Contact us to learn more and get started today!

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