Josette's Story: How I Came to Use an Egg Donor

At 43, I'm finally pregnant and due any day now.

Had I known the challenges of getting pregnant with advanced maternal age, I would have tried to plan things a little differently. When I married at 36, my husband and I began trying to conceive on our honeymoon, never once thinking we were about to embark on one of the most emotional journeys of our lives.

To both my surprise and dismay, my journey to parenthood had a rocky start. I tried everything available to me: acupuncture programs, cleanses, naturopathic programs, IUI's and IVF's. We took vacations, and I even took months off of work just to relax and focus on fertility. Unfortunately, six years and two miscarriages later, I still felt no closer to having a child and building our family.

"After my last failed IVF cycle, my doctor finally says to me, ‘If you want a baby, you need to start thinking about an egg donor.'"

I was crushed -- how is this possible? I'm a healthy and fit individual who embraces wellness as a lifestyle. This isn't FAIR!! And perhaps it's not, but that's not where I chose to dwell for a very long time. After a few days of thinking, I finally began my search, exploring my fresh donor options, as well as frozen egg donor options through DEB USA. The selection process was so surreal – with every new donor that popped up on my screen, I was constantly reminded that I would not be providing the genetic map for my baby.

"My biological time clock was ticking, and I knew I had to shake off the ego and focus on the end goal."

I took some deep breaths, and began to look at profiles, allowing my heart and intuition to guide me. I tried to find whatever remote similarities and connections I could with this stranger on my screen, who was going to play such a pivotal role in who my baby would eventually be. For me, I made the strongest connection with the 4th donor I looked at, but I couldn’t stop there -- I wanted to be absolutely sure. I looked at over 100 frozen egg donors in the database, and still considered fresh ones, but I just kept coming back to that same frozen egg donor. I couldn’t stop thinking about her – I even dreamt about her -- and I finally told myself, “It’s time to make this real.”

I contacted Donor Egg Bank USA and arranged for payment and shipment, which was an easy process considering the nature of the transaction. I acquired an egg lot in November and was pregnant in March! I successfully conceived with the second embryo transfer.

"My donor provided the hardware for my baby, and I've been nourishing and loving the baby for nine months in utero."

I'm now 9 months pregnant, and every day I think about my egg donor and the gift she gave us through her decision to donate. Honestly, sometimes I’m still bothered that I couldn't provide my own genetic mapping for my child, but the disappointment has faded over time. I have the utmost respect for my donor, and I’m at peace that my baby is the result of a trinity rather than a duo. My donor provided the hardware for my baby, and I've been nourishing and loving the baby for nine months in utero. I will spend a lifetime raising this baby to grow into the individual it is meant to be – and that brings me the greatest pride and joy as a new parent.

I want to wish those of you who are considering this path a beautiful outcome, and I hope you find peace and acceptance with your decision to use DEB USA frozen donor eggs to build your family.

Josette and Drew